032 OMG, He does care about us.

I must be overreacting again. It happens to me often enough that I am not always sure I actually mean it. [if that makes any sense.]
I just saw a full on, legitimate commercial for a “special” medication. Ah! wait for this one, it’s priceless …
Woman can now grow fuller, longer, darker and better EYELASHES!!! It's a miracle.

No more of that “Oh, Boubou, you look a little tired, have you gained weight?”, “Shenee, is this you? OooMaaaGooosh what happen to your eyes?” Or the Nene [Housewives of Atlanta] type answer “Damn Kim, did you get in a fight with some clippers or something? Looks like you lost you eye hair. Well, at least you look surprised and alert, all the time now.“

Please, kill me now. I can’t believe that pharmaceutical companies spend so much money like this. The research, the marketing and the commercial … it’s beyond ridiculous. There are countless diseases out there that kill millions of people all over the world. And if people of America don’t care about the people of the world, well, let me rephrase: “There are countless diseases that kill thousands of people all over America.” [South America and Canada not included in this statement]
I mean, if they really, really want to waste money on useless shit, I can help. I mean it’s true, I rarely come up with something useful, although I myself never though about the eyelashes situation per se. Sounds pretty serious. And it is a genius idea to drop millions of dollars on eyelash rejuvenation. Thank God they made a commercial explaining the crisis. Hiring Brooke Shields was also another genius idea. They must have a few of them out there or was it just divine intervention? Well, however it happened, we definitely need strong, proud and level headed women who are not be afraid to talk about their own eyelash situation.

Anyway, everyone: Enjoy the eyelash commercial. At the end they recommend you go see a doctor, because of course you need a prescription for this particular “remedy.” So, now the doctors and the insurance companies are also sharing in the bounty of our stupidity. Hey, that’s what they do in China. They spread the wealth all around. And from what I hear, it's a country full of really happy people.

031 The Problem with Lambda

We’re back making architecture this week. The project was introduced to the press, we went public ... Now it’s time to get going [Seriously]. The problem we are facing is that a portion of the design  was represented conceptually. There is a major component that is explicit and readable as architectural form. And then, there is another that is suggested rather than clearly stated [it's complicated].

Obviously, put the two together and you create a certain ambiguity. For people “in the know,” it’s completely fine and may even be playfully stated, but for the common “man” it is somewhat confusing. They default back to trying to connect the forms to something they know, something they are familiar with . And if our model and renderings mix explicit representation with implicit meaning things just get impossible to sort through. The goal was simple, the intent clear but the resolution was ambiguous.

029 Lifer

Before the vacation
Did a presentation on parametrics in the office. Talked about what it means to integrate those intelligent models in the early phases of design. Talked about education as it relates to parametrics. Good times.



The vacation
Went to the beach, got some sun, played with the dolphins,swam in the ocean and ate a bunch of good stuff … the typical vacation package.


After the vacation
Coming back to our dark, hot workspace in Santa Monica, I had a revelation … I feel worst coming back. I keep thinking this vacation turned out to be the biggest teaser ever. Just like prison. I get a 24hr pass to get out and do whatever I want. Knowing what’s on the outside can do more harm than never really experiencing it in the first place … I don’t think I really thought about it before, but I haven’t gone away in a year and a half. Definitely pathetic and slightly embarrassing.

Too much work in this country. 50-60 hours a week on average including many, many weekends. What do we live for then? Most people I know can’t say no. Fear is the name of the game. Shit, I say no all the time about everything, one would think I should be able to handle it.

The script is moving along. I finally got a title which I won’t reveal, it’s taken me 4 months to come up with it. Could still change, but I am confident this is going to work. I’ve marked the occasion by carving it in a bracelet. It’s not a tattoo but cool anyway.

I used to have a good full story written from start to finish, but with all the changes I have made recently, I am back to the first half outline and still puzzled as to what I am going to do with it. It’s an I’m excited but freaking out moment.
The enemy is back to a generic entity although it has some specific characteristics that will drive the story [Good stuff]. The main character is much better but too weak right now, I have to rework him – urgently, it’s driving me nuts.
In a moment of inspiration I have decided to start on some of the Maya [dynamics] animations for the ship and the station. There's not enough time, I really need to figure out a way to make it part of my R&D at work. Kill two birds with one stone … Or whatever that expression is.

I got yet another interview done for the guys. This one is again with Joe Flanigan. He was good in SGA but with the exception of a guest spot on Warehouse 13 he hasn’t done much – That’s unfortunate.

027 There's this girl I know

Yesterday:
I was already annoyed with the world, so it didn’t take much to get me started with the eye rolling, but sometimes I just can’t help it.
There is this girl I know with whom I will never be friends. And I am totally fine with that.
Anyway, this girl was talking to someone near me. The subject of the conversation was the most stupid and anal thing, the sort of conversations girls often have. There is no point, no interest and certainly no need for it. It’s just a waste of time.
During the whole conversation she was making these baby faces and jumping up and down and then she walked away hopping and singing. What the fuck is going on here? The whole time I was thinking “What the hell is she doing?”
I realized later that she was checking out her immediate surroundings. She was trying to see if anybody was smiling or appreciating her antics. [I made a point to ignore her of course]
I mean, does she really have to act like little baby girls to get noticed? Do we need to hear her comment on her inner thoughts out loud? Because, that’s what she was doing. I was trying to put myself in the guy’s position and see if there was anything even remotely attractive about a girl playing all these games. I couldn’t figure it out. I should ask.
I might even give her some “friendly” advice and suggest that she drop the little girl routine, it’s disturbing and it's obviously not working out for her.

Today:
Oh my God! She’s freaking hopping again!

026 Working my derrière to death

Yeah that's right. My butt hurts from sitting in the same chair for 15 hours a day.
... On stupid day 7 and counting.
I have been working in 2d microstation for 60 hours. This thing is sooo slow I almost died of boredom a million times.
I hate that program with unusual passion. I feel like I have been sucked into the 2d M0rphosis black hole. [Looks pretty deep from where I'm standing]

click ... dying dying dying dying dying dying dying dying ... click

There is some positive in this whole 2d debacle ... Now I understand why everybody here has this constant vacant look on their faces ... We're bonding.

025 Pit of Hell you say?

Yes, that’s exactly what I say. The M0rph parking saga continues.
The water main is busted, the lot has flooded.
There is a hole now ...


No one seems to be in a hurry to fill it.
So, we pile up inside the abandoned building next door.


Pathetiiiiic ...

024 Jesũs, help me ...

I am still sick and my voice remains completely messed up. As I said before, it was sexy the first couple of days, but now [13 days later] I am ready to move on. So, I am eating large amounts of cough drops and getting high on cough syrup to minimize the coughing fits. Not only is that strategy a complete bust, it's also bringing chaos and unrest to my life:
Gained one pound.[blame it on all the freaking sugar in the candies and the syrup]
Got a parking ticket.
Forgot to pay my power bill and was late for the final deadline. Lights are still coming on so I guess they won’t cut it off right away.
Was late on the rent.
Bought the wrong coffee table for my living room. [now I am going to obsess about this one until I can fix it]

Last week UCLA canceled my class because Michael Jackson was causing a stir in the area [being dead and all] -- the nerve.

Almost late to class this week. My car is [once again] stuck in the “three car tandem pit of hell” I have to deal with at the office.
Working there is like getting stuck on an island every day. Knowing I am not in control of the parking situation is driving me nuts.

The classroom is full of people of all ages. They all have something in common … They’re in the business of course [director, editors, actors, writers, …]
One exception … me.
There seem to be an unusually large number of inflated egos in the room. Not that I don’t appreciate it. It’s always entertaining although I don’t know how funny it will be after eight weeks. Must be something about the “biz.”

022 I love London ... But

Random
The first thing I did when I arrived in London was to run into Alan Rickman. That’s such a random event it needs no further comment.

Freak Weather
The first thing I saw when I arrived in London was the sun, the bright blue sky and the heat. How am I supposed to appreciate London like this? Seriously.

What’s up with the carpets?
I swear, there is something going on in this country with the carpeting [colors and design] It's everywhere.

Every town has a smell … You just have to find it
I ended up in a pretty bad hotel. [wet – old – dewy] Again with the smells. I really have an issue with that. It made me want to leave early in the morning and stay out as late as possible, which I did. So maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing.

I lost something
I wasn't there for more than 24hr when I lost my voice. I caught some bug in the plane. [that’s when I came up with the idea of getting a separate air system for business class]
Bad timing since I really, really had to talk. And for some other reasons I won’t mention, I actually WANTED to talk. So, I continued to squawk and whisper in French and English as long as I could. The day I left, I couldn’t order my meal in the train. Nothing was coming out. It’s terrible.

English vs. English
They seemed to be confused with my triple accented English. I speak an English with an American accent, a French undertone and some Southern Californian flavors.
Cheers Mate!

Addiction is still alive and well
Starbucks on every cooornners!

A stereotype I was determined to verify
I keep hearing that all Ukites [those who live in UK] have bad, bad teeth. I checked. It’s not entirely true.

No Bread pudding
I ate well. Great food.

Bloody hell
Took a little tour of Zaha’s office [Unit 8, Unit 2]. Heard some gossip.

My personal nerd heaven
I saw all the guys from GT. I love them and they love me. It was fun to see everybody again. Made new “friends.” Reconciled with the Frenchies a little bit.

Cryptic clue
Looks like the nun is ready to get out of the convent.

I had fun. I could live there. [maybe]
I could work there. [for sure]

021 Rollin' Eyes

April 28th – Paris
I am scheduled to leave Paris on May 7th (I smile at that). On April 28th I learn I have to come back asap (I definitely roll my eyes at that.)
I scramble to find tickets and apartment (involving panic attack, favors and bribes). I pull it off: I am scheduled to come back to Paris May 17th -- until June 15th. I plan meetings with family and doctors appointment in Europe. I am excited that I will be there to see “Le Tour De France” arrive in Paris.
I breathe a sigh of relief … That lasts 3 days.

May 5th – Paris
I am leaving Paris in a few days ... My trip back to Paris scheduled May 17th is canceled.
They say "When you get to LA on May 7th, you should stay there for a while."
I cancel all flights and apartment. I cancel meetings with family and doctors appointment in Europe. I come to terms with the fact that I won’t see “Le Tour De France” arrive in Paris.
I ask “How long of a while is it?”
They answer “We don’t know.”
I ask louder “Well, when are you going to know? I need to plan my life a little bit.”
They answer again “We don’t know.”
I think “Fools.”

May 10th – Los Angeles
They say "You will be here at least until the end of August."

May 12th – Los Angeles
I am told that I need to go back to Paris starting at the beginning of June until the end of July.
I say “Are you fucking serious?” (I think the expletive)
They answer “Sorry, we really need you there now.”
I think “Shit, here we go again.”
This is going to hurt. I rebook all flights and apartment. I rebook meetings with family and doctors appointment in Europe. I am excited that I will be there to see “Le Tour de France” arrive in Paris.

May 29th – Los Angeles
I am told that the trip needs to be canceled. So I am not going back at least until September or October.
They say "We don't know exactly when."
I think “Yeah, what a damn surprise.” A lot of eye rolling that day.
I cancel all flights and apartment. I cancel meetings with family and doctors appointment in Europe. I come to terms with the fact that I won’t see “Le Tour De France” arrive in Paris.

June 5th – Los Angeles
I decide to sign up for a night class at UCLA during the summer. Tired of not being able to plan anything.

June 5th (still) – Los Angeles
Later that day I am told that they are going to allow me to participate to a symposium in London on the 23rd and 24th. But since I am there, I should really stay the whole week and go to the office in Paris.
I am missing my first class on June 25th.

June 10th – Los Angeles
They say “We are thinking about canceling this London trip.”
I smile and say nothing. I think plenty.

020 Workout Song

Dragged myself to the gym this weekend.
Exotic smells of all kinds.
Hard to describe.
Whoever said you should breathe through your mouth to avoid the smell was an idiot … It doesn’t work.
Now I can taste it too.
Some guy is grunting and moaning while working out.
He’s listening to music, he can’t hear himself.
Everybody else can.

Annoying. I hate it.

016 Aaaaalright already

PATH 1

015 Free Will

What do you do when faced with a choice of 2 stupid options? None is appealing. I can either quit/loose my job or continue to have no life because I have to spend it in Paris. It’s an impossible choice, one that gives me no pleasure and definitely takes me down a path of more trouble and difficulties.
PATH1:
I can choose to continue to work and go live in Paris for months at a time, where I am miserable. Putting my life on hold [completely] – [again] – [and again]. I am incapable and unwilling to immerse myself in that culture, that city, that country. [Screw the French] The only thing is, I am making a ton of money there. [Thank the euro]
PATH2:
I can choose to stay in L.A. this summer and take the class I so wanted to take. It’s also where I have a better life, where I talk to and see friends, where I feel good and refreshed and also where I might not have a job in the near future. That’s a real possibility. Because I just can’t see my boss accepting what they might call “my eccentricities”, I am already expecting things to go down the drain, fast. Oh yeah, in case people don’t know this already, according to some people, if I’m not married and I don’t have kids, apparently my life doesn’t exist and I am considered fully flexible. At one point I considered getting myself knocked up just to be able to tell then to go fuck themselves … take THAT! But I quickly reconsidered. It’s a little bit drastic. And then, what do I tell the kid later, “Yes, honey, be proud, mommy made you to prove a point.” No, that wouldn’t work.

With this stupid economy, I don’t know if I can reasonably hope to find something else to do. Maybe barista at Starbucks, I go there enough.
Choices are only fun when the options open up to new exciting possibilities. I feel like I have no such luck with these things and that I am often faced with bad and worst. Which one to take? Well, I don’t want to take any of those stinking options. I just wish that one day I would be faced with something like:
A. Get 50 million dollars and go make your movie.
B. Get 50 million dollars and go design my house.
C. Get 50 million dollars and go enjoy yourself ... Oh, what the hell, take 60.

Is that too much to ask?

[To be continued]

014 EarthQuakiness

As it does everyday, the earth shook in Los Angeles again. But this time I really felt it. I always seem to miss it. Last time, I was in Paris and the time before that, I must have been somewhere else too because I don’t remember any of it.
Last night, the epicenter was deep underground which means: smooth wave-like shakes. So smooth that I though it was just a “big twuck” [nephew talk] driving by. Sprawled on my stomach, in bed, I was working on the computer -- Jumped up and ran to the nearest doorway. Which incidentally I learned (afterward of course) is not the best strategy for survival. “Really?”

I also have no water, no “working” flashlight and no food … I am not ready.

013 The show I hate ... But have to watch anyway

-- How many stupid shows do I actually watch on TV?
Answer: way too many to count, but that’s what makes TV oh so special.

Latest one to really drive me nuts is CSI: Miami. It is sooo bad, words cannot accurately express the blatant idiocy of this show. I don’t remember if it was always like that. I think I used to enjoy it. None of the characters have any depth and after 10 years they really have nothing left to say. The main supposed lovers have no chemistry, it makes me gag.

I have tried to ignore it, removed it from my DVR recording schedule and bad mouthed it all over town. And yet, here I am, watching it [I curse On Demand], I have sunk so low, I am embarrassed. Although I my defense, it’s so stupid it does manage to give me a good chuckle here and there, so just for that, I might continue to watch.

So, last week, just like every week this stupid show begins with some kind of montage of half naked drunk Miami resident getting killed. There is some definite stereotype going on here. When David Caruso [Lieutenant Horacio Caine] strolls onto the screen, holding on to his sunglasses, head titled to the side, it’s just hilarious. I bet they shoot that same scene every time. Seriously, they should just reuse some stock footage and get it over with. We also always know exactly what he’s thinking since the actor has a grand total of two facial expressions: Thoughtful and Angry-thoughtful. Well, at least we know what’s going on I guess, he’s easy to read if you know what I mean.
Invariably something stupid is said. Definitely, Caruso is the one who says it.
Last week -- “Reality just got real”

Yeah Caruso … Go!

012 Oooh Los Angeles

WED - 2AM - PARIS
I decided not to sleep during my last night in Paris so I would be tired when I get on the plane.

Idiot.

THUR - 8AM - PARIS
I was exhausted. Left town yawning.

THUR – 2PM – BOEING777
Traveling in business is the best. Tried to watch movies on the plane and never made it through a single one.
The reader, bride wars*, slumdog millionaire**, Valkyrie*** and others I don’t even remember.

* Worst movie I’ve seen so far this year. Wait, can this tripe even be considered a “movie”?
** This one is not that good. I don’t understand what all the hype is about. I feel that I have to say I liked it otherwise I look stupid. Well, I am not playing that game. So I’ll say it: I didn’t like it.
*** What the hell was TC thinking about?

Boring.

THUR – 5PM – L.A.
I just arrived in LA. Was feeling weird the whole time, not really believing I was actually here.

Smells good.

THUR – 6PM – L.A.
Had to go to the office again to get my car. Always awkward. I kind of know these people, but at the same time I don’t. I haven’t worked with them [ever]. So it’s in between saying hi or ignoring everybody, but that’s rude.

I got to find out who are the owners of the two cars blocking mine before I can leave.

Car is so dirty I can’t see through the windshield.